Being Granted Godly Sorrow Which Worketh Repentence
March 23rd, 2007 by Patricia Bishop
I wish to share with you, our faithful viewers and beloved of God a true experience that I recently had. This has had such a great impact on my life that I will forever be changed. As I share this with you I pray that God will anoint the words I write, allow them to penetrate your heart, thus revealing Himself to you and that because of His wonderful love toward you, you would allow Him to open your eyes to see yourself as He sees you.
I will title this article “Being Granted Godly Sorrow which worketh Repentance.”
Our Scripture Text
(2Corinthians 7:10) For godly sorrow worketh repentance1 to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
I have always been a caring, giving person. I have compassion for people (sometimes what we would think of as less desirable people) that seemingly, the world has passed by and forgotten. I have always given of my resources to those in need and raised my children to do the same. Well, lets get to where the rubber meets the road, I thought that I had it all together in that department and surely I would have extra stars in my crown someday for it.
I found myself not long ago caught up in the spirit of prayer. It wasn’t one of those dry, repetitious, self-centered, all about me prayers (you know what I’m talking about), I was really enjoying the presence of God. Before I knew it the Holy Spirit was bringing scripture to mind and I was praying according to the Word of God.
(Psalms 51:6) Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
(Psalms 51:7) Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
(Psalms 51:8) Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
(Psalms 51:9) Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
(Psalms 51:10) Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
(Psalms 51:11) Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
(Psalms 51:12) Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
(Psalms 51:13) Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
(Psalms 51:14) Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
(Psalms 51:15) O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
(Psalms 51:16) For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
(Psalms 51:17) The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
I began to pray that God would search me and know me and that nothing in me be hidden from Him. I prayed that He would purge me and cleanse me. I asked Him to let me see myself as He saw me and to grant me godly sorrow which worketh repentance.
These scriptures came to mind.
(Psalms 139:23) Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
(Psalms 139:24) And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I prayed for everyone on my prayer list, my family and the needs we were currently facing. Making my request known before God, but this time I ended my prayer with this:
(Luke 22:42) Saying, Father, nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
I will attempt to write as clearly as possible so that you can comprehend how piercingly painful the truth really was. (Remember, Jesus said that He is the Truth, the Way and the Life John 14:6).
Most of us have be taught to listen for God while we are in our prayer closet, that is okay but we must realize that communication between God and man can take place wherever and whenever He sees fit. He is not limited to our time-frame or the place we choose to make our personal altar.
Having said that, I had already said my Amens and had gotten up from off my knees where I had knelt in prayer. I knew I had prayed through and touched the throne room of God but I didn’t hear Him at that time say anything to me, I only knew I had entered into His presence.
I started to walk through my house when the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart. He said God doesn’t see you as you see yourself. He is higher in all of His ways than you are in yours. What seems right to you isn’t always right in His eyes at all. He doesn’t think like you do. He doesn’t react like you do. He doesn’t love like you do. (I thought yes, that is probably right, but I could feel a brokenness starting and I began to weep).
The Holy Spirit continued and got very specific. He said you have been very selfish! My mind immediately went to the day before when friends of mine were telling me that I was the most giving person they ever met, but I could not utter a word, only listen and my weeping was gaining strength with each word He spoke.
The Holy Spirit said, you think that people take advantage of you. You never say anything to them but in your heart you are angry because they take up time that to you is precious, time you want to be spending with your husband. Well your days belong to me, they are not your own. If I wasn’t mindful each day to give you your breath you wouldn’t even have to worry who I send by and how much of your time they take. I’ve sent people to you who are alone. Your company, your family, your home brings sunshine and blessing to them, why would you begrudge them that?
You have done many things for others and with a good heart but after some time, you said in your heart, haven’t I done enough for you? When are you going to do something for yourself? The Holy Spirit said, you are not to grow weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap if you faint not (Galatians 6:9).
What really started getting my attention was that I had never uttered these things out-loud but God was revealing to me my thoughts and what I had pondered in my heart! All I could do was weep and say Yes Father, guilty as charged. Wow, was that scary and eye opening!
He continued and it was painful, I felt as though it was cutting me to the bone. Yet, He still administered all of this correction with such great love and mercy. I cried harder and harder, yet it made me love Him deeper than I ever knew I could. I felt a sorrow I had never experienced before.
Many things He brought to my attention, things that seemed insignificant to me but they were big to Him. He reminded me of the day that a friend asked me to print some resumes for her. I had printed so many prior to that and I was the one who even created the original resume. I knew that my ink cartridges were low but I had purchased new ones I just hadn’t replaced them yet. I actually hid them so no-one would know that I even had new ones and was reserving them for my personal use.
Again, I smiled and said sure, I’ll print them for you, but that isn’t what I was thinking in my heart! I ran seven copies for her thinking in my self-righteous mind that God would be pleased with seven. When I handed them to her only three had printed, the ink had ran out. She said, that will be fine sister, when I get to where I’m going I’ll see if I can find someone to help me obtain more. All the while I knew in my heart that I had new ink cartridges and could install them and print as many as she wanted/needed, but again I thought I had done her a favor by printing the ones I did. WRONG!
The Holy Spirit said, you remember the resumes and the ink cartridges? Yes, of course I did. He said don’t you know that it was your Heavenly Father who supplied you with the printer and the ink? Who do you think you are to withhold His ink when someone needed it? Do you not know that the same God who supplied the first ink will supply the next? As you have need of more, He will give it to you. It is not yours to withhold, nothing you have belongs to you. Everything belongs to the Father and you are to never withhold anything that belongs to Him.
These are just a few specific examples of what He dealt with me on that night. When He was finished I had cried until I was physically weak. My face was swollen and my eyes were nearly shut. I prayed a prayer that sounded very different that night. I had been granted Godly sorrow and I repented. I had never been so sorry in all of my life.
My husband and children were all at work when this took place and I was home alone. I managed to dry my tears and thought I was okay before they got home. When my husband came in I began crying all over again. As I told him what happened he started rejoicing. He was smiling, dancing, shouting, praising the Lord. I wanted to get mad at him but I couldn’t I had been changed.
As I went to bed that night I laid my hands over my heart. I felt so clean, just as a newborn baby. My husband said what are you doing? I told him how clean and pure I felt and that I never wanted that to leave me. Folks, I slept that night better than I believe I have ever slept before. The peace of God was so great, His presence was so near to me. I’ll never forget it and I will forever be changed.
I thank God for His great love in which He loves us. His correction sometimes seems hard at the moment but the end result is always beautiful, beneficial to us and to His kingdom. Our Heavenly Father is the best Father in all of the universe and I am so blessed to be counted amongst His children. I love Him because He first loved me!
There are many great lessons in this article and I hope they minister to you. Without the Holy Spirit revealing this to you, I could never describe in the English language how intense and deep all of this was. I pray that you will open your heart to Him and let Him put you on the potters wheel and begin to make you a vessel of honor.
As I continue my journey with Him,
Patty Bishop